{"id":2513,"date":"2013-10-08T11:00:33","date_gmt":"2013-10-08T10:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.idenk.com\/blog\/?p=2513"},"modified":"2013-10-14T16:20:52","modified_gmt":"2013-10-14T15:20:52","slug":"from-nightmares-to-no-cares","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.idenk.com\/blog\/from-nightmares-to-no-cares\/","title":{"rendered":"From nightmares to no cares"},"content":{"rendered":"

In my one to one coaching I often use a framework adapted from scenario planning<\/a>. I get clients to describe 4 futures they think they could encounter (and possibly create): the Dream, the Disaster, the Default and the Do-able. When coaching someone to develop their facilitation skills and repertoire, I find that the disaster scenario features prominently \u2013 where things could go horribly wrong looms large. Our online facilitation skills assessment <\/a>has a tenth category that surfaces these fears \u2013 and that \u2018facilitation nightmares\u2019 section regularly\u00a0reveals low scores!<\/p>\n

So what are these nightmares? The same ones <\/a>come up time and time again and include these four:
\n1) Will the group start talking \u2013 \u201cthere\u2019s no energy, will they interact with me?\u201d
\n2) Will I be able to stop them \u2013 \u201cwill some people go on and on, boring everyone and distracting the process?\u201d
\n3) Will they fall out \u2013 \u201chow do I stop them getting into conflict with each other?\u201d
\n4) Will they reject my agenda, will they reject me \u2013 \u201cwhat if I don\u2019t know what to ask them to do or they don\u2019t like it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Which do you worry about the most?\u00a0 For me, you might be surprised to know, is 2).<\/p>\n

What would you do?<\/p>\n

In my facilitation training we explore lots of top tips for these. Briefly, a few of my favourite tactics are:
\ni) Too Quiet: Get people to work in pairs or trios within the first few minutes of starting \u2013 and whenever the mood seems flat
\nii) Too Talkative: I find that humour, reminding all of the time and seeking other peoples views works
\niii) Too Argumentative: See conflict as good (something to be harnessed and embraced even, not avoided), and frame the day as about exploring different views\u2026and then methods like the six thinking hats, Thomas Kilman, scenarios, hexagon mapping, iceberg, polarity management, dilemma resolution, the idenk agree\/differ process kick in!
\niv) Too Resistant: I like using the SPOG process\u2026<\/p>\n

The \u2018SPOG\u2019 method is helpful when you experience sustained pushback to your suggestions:
\n\uf0a7 Summarise the Situation
\n\uf0a7 Propose a process, maybe sharing the alternative options you see too
\n\uf0a7 Outline the output you believe it will achieve
\n\uf0a7 Gather the views of the group: what do others think of your suggestion? Check what they think might be useful to do\u2026<\/p>\n

[And a more facilitative alternative: Before you share your view of what to suggest next you might call time out, tea or set up a trio \u2013 to create you breathing space or time to go over things with any colleagues or client. This can lead to a version of this called SGPO where you jump straight from 1 to 4 \u2013 and then maybe back to 2 and 3 after some conversations in groups or trios \u2013 and with your co worker. We are firm believers in the \u2018power of pairs\u2019 <\/a>to help at times just like this! ]<\/p>\n

And what can be done to avoid nightmares?<\/p>\n

There is lots to do in rehearsal \u2013 the second D of the 4Ds of Facilitation (design, dry run, do it, debrief)\u2026and one of the 13Ps<\/a> too!<\/p>\n

And in the heat of the moment..
\nA. First think about what is going on \u2013 what are your hypotheses for what is\u00a0happening under the surface (see the iceberg or Deep Think model <\/a>here\u00a0 \u2013 maybe even working this explicitly with the group)
\nB. Explore your options: using the Heron framework <\/a>and this list from one of the best facilitation books <\/a><\/p>\n

C. Have a go!
\nD. Then reflect: what went well, what would you have done differently, what are you curious about (what do you think might have been going on), what will you do next (you can journal this process with a pen and paper in a book\u00a0to keep or type in an\u00a0e-file)?<\/p>\n

The more you do this, the easier it gets. Building your capacity to reflect regularly after a session increases your chance of seeing alternatives and options \u2018in the moment\u2019.<\/p>\n

And revisiting the promise of this blog: from Nightmares to No Cares? Well not quite, but less worry is certainly possible!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In my one to one coaching I often use a framework adapted from scenario planning. I get clients to describe 4 futures they think they could encounter (and possibly create): the Dream, the Disaster, the Default and the Do-able. When coaching someone to develop their facilitation skills and repertoire, I find that the disaster scenario […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[135,161],"tags":[85,76],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.idenk.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.idenk.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.idenk.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.idenk.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.idenk.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2513"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.idenk.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2524,"href":"https:\/\/www.idenk.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513\/revisions\/2524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.idenk.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2513"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.idenk.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2513"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.idenk.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2513"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}