Personal productivity Category

Conflict, is it in your head or heart?

Personal productivity No Comments

Here are two key ideas on conflict:

1) Whilst it is a feature which can feel uncomfortable in teams and relationships, it is actually a good thing, useful in generating ideas and refining the way forward

2) It can scare and paralyse – maybe because we know it can lead to long term harm.

This dilemma or polarity is the trickiest thing to manage – and contains a conflict in itself.

There is lots on line about conflict and how to approach and manage it.  

One useful idea is the difference between cognitive and affective conflict.   This is simply either looking in on an issue and analysing it dispassionately in comparison to being totally wrapped up in the emotions and the moment. In short taking an Emotional Intelligence (EQ) based approach.

One tried and trusted method we find that is useful with groups is use of de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats. If you don’t know have a look on YouTube and Wikipedia. It is simple – and powerful.  [But, ironically, it is possible to have conflict about the effort and discipline it takes to practice this craft!]

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What makes people successful?

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We believe…the key thing with successful people is NOT what happens to them, but how they react when things DO NOT happen for them – when that job application is filed, the contract doesn’t come off, the relationship goes wrong.

The Art of Resilience is key;

  • Not being overly negative (or positive) – realism is powerful.
  • Seeing things from a range of perspectives.

How do you beef up your resilience?

Have a look at this assessment.

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Irresponsible or what?

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Our June business briefing has proved popular.  What about this for a case study in responsibility.

Waiting at café for meeting.

A guy takes his gum from his mouth and throws it to the ground.

He goes inside.

He is young.

With a hoodie.

Is he hard?

But he has a Waterstone’s bookstore bag?

Is it his?

Does it have a book in it?

What sort of book?

Jeremy Clarkson?

Something by Wittgenstein?

Options – we like the work of John Heron and use his 6 ways of intervening on our coaching cards (which we can provide if you want one).

In this situation some of the main ways of responding include ignoring it through to confronting the person.

When confronting, trying to get the balance right is important. Not pussyfooting (can I find a bin for you) or clobbering (what do you think you are doing), but achieving the correct balance on the tightrope between those two extremes (excuse me, I think you may have dropped something).

 

By the way, is the inactive observer just as irresponsible?

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A lesson in virtual working

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A large part of what we have done this year has been online working in virtual teams using WebEx and Skype.

We have enjoyed pushing those technologies to their limits as we design in interactivity with distant groups (more webshop, than webinar).

So this virtual choir blew our minds!

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Events, dear boy…

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Stuff happens…Events occur…Frustration and confusion arise…

How we make sense of what goes on around us and to us is key, for it guides our actions.

When thinking about events there are two tools we find useful. 

The Deep Think.

The aim is to take an event, such as someone not arriving for a meeting, or set of events that has formed a pattern (such as regular delays in starting team meetings), and to try to think of as many possible reasons for the other persons actions. The aim is to generate a long list of possible hypotheses before deciding on action. As well as considering bleak and competitive reasons (they don’t like me, they got a better offer), there is the chance to think of more charitable ones (something has happened at home, their diary isn’t working properly). Only when your brainstorm has run dry do you try to think about which are the most convincing possibilities (if any!) and what your next step might be…your list of options will be much longer.

The formula: E+R=O (where Events + Response = Outcome).

When something happens our response to it is key.  Having been left at the café or bar for an hour with no message we will be responding: 

in our head (am I in the right place, did I put the right time in my diary);

in our heart (what are they thinking of, hope they are ok); 

with our hands (texting, tweeting, fiddling).

The power of this formula is to focus not on R, but O.  Bear in mind the outcome you want (a relaxing evening, a continued relationship with the other person) and use that to guide your response (make the most of time to sit and think, meditate, people watch, plan your next day).

See here for a bit more.

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It ain’t (English) cricket?

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The remarkable turnaround of the fortunes and performance of the English cricket team has not gone unnoticed, though it has been coming for a while.

Coach, Andy Flower, is renowned for the dedication he expects of the players – expecting physical fitness, determination and focus plus positive team working and behaviours.

A great example of Front Foot Organisation we reckon – see this for more www.idenk.co.uk/frontfootorganisation.

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What are your prospects?

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In our work helping individual and teams through change, we find the ideas from Prospect Theory of use.

Behavioural economists note that humans, when faced with a discontinuity or transition, tend to focus on the things we fear we might lose, rather than the things that we might hope to gain. They point to the ease with which disposable income gets spent on insurance, long in advance of choices for savings!

Page 5 of this booklet  shows one way of trying to get some balance and buck this inbuilt orientation that most of us share.

Of course, some are not wired this way. For example, those going onto reality TV shows seem to focus on their dreams over the likely prospect of failure, ridicule and humiliation!

You can read a bit more here.

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Questions are the answer

Personal productivity No Comments

In our work – and lives – we find that the questions we focus on are usually more useful than the abundance of easy answers.  Taking time to think through to the right question can be very useful – and even fun! 

Working to a short, straightforward and significant question takes some effort. 

Often a “how” question might be more useful as a “why” or a “what”. 

For example 

“How do we need to organise this project over the next 90 days to increase its value” 

is quite different to

“What would it take to increase the value of this project over the next quarter”

See here for a bit more on our Question Fanning method.  This is taught on our Brilliant Thinking Made Easy course. It helps get the scope of a question right (both the subject and scale of inquiry)

For example, ‘project’, ‘value’ and ’90 days’ may not be useful to focus on!

We do believe that as humans we are drawn in the direction of the questions we ask.  We see this in science, business and in personal pursuits of happiness.

And a few quotes that pick up the point:

“Always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question” – e e cummings

“He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked” – Voltaire

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Listening with our feelings

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How do we listen?

1) We notice

– But do we notice assumptions as well as information?

– Emotion and energy as well as ideas?

2) We filter to recall (and forget)

– On the basis of thought-out criteria?

– Or is it more haphazard?

3) Also, we can be more aware and mindful if we listen with our feelings.

 

So here is a ladder of listening…

I

-Listen behind the emotion (what is not being said)

I

-Listen to the emotion

I

-Listen for information, facts and data

I

-Listen partially or from a distance

I

-Not listening

I

 

Much time is spent at the bottom.

The most effective listening is at the top……

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How many modes have you got?

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How many modes

(including ways of speaking/interacting such as tone of voice, physical stance, speed and gaps in speech)

do you have…

When you lead a meeting?

When you speak with your staff?

When you meet people 1:1?

How aware are you of your style – and the choices you have about that?

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Email: phil.hadridge@idenk.com